And LIfe goes on ...But to where ?

how many mistakes or regrets someone s allowed to have in life? how many times can u turn back and start all over again ? i remember people saying since i was a kid that making a mistake is acceptable but making it again makes u dumb .... well ....some other people also say that it is never too late to start again ....is it really true ? what makes me wondering lately is that starting something again might be the same thing as going back in time and start from nothing again ... maybe is just a different way to see things .. maybe im not being as positive as i should be ...maybe im complaining too much and spending precious time with something that will take me nowhere ....

why is it so difficult to turn things the way u want ....? can anybody tell me any guide book of life ? i now appreciate even more the elderly people .... because if you think about it ....life is not easy ...for anyone .....and if they lived and reached the old stage of life...god knows everything they have been through .....which in a way it scares me to death , because that also means that i still haven't had enough .....there are gonna be more hard times ahead my shoulder .....

did u ever asked yourself why do you make the choices u make ... ? why do you turn left instead of right ..... why do you get on time somewhere when you should...or you could be five minutes late ? why you re asleep when you u could be having wonderfull dreams ...?

anyway ... the best way to describe the life im living right now is .... " life....to many questions....waiting for some answers ....wasting time making decisions"......well.....theres no decisions cause obviously i still haven t found the answers i m looking for and that s why im wasting time ....and ....aaaawwwwhhhh ....enough ....

well....im just trying to be reasonable to myself ....just wish i could have that one little piece of advice .......that one sentence that will make me realise all i ve done and all i have to do ....but life once again is not easy and i know its something i have to figure it out for myself ...ahhh im going mad i guess ......but what i want from life is something just so simple ....

meaning of happiness .... for me will be that time when when i feel nothing is missing ...but then the purpose of life will have no meaning because u live your life wanting things, dreaming for more .....so there s always gonna be something missing.....so ...again ... meaning of happiness ..? well.....loads of theories and no reasonable way out .....i wanna be happy ...and in a lot of ways i am .... aaawhhhhhhhhhhhhh again ..freaking out ...

thats it.....no one to talk to so talking to myself waiting the time to fall sleep ....

x